What Really Matters....

Alright - it's true - in academia you are often asked to pick some tiny, dust-filled corner of your brain, search out some seriously obscure topic of interest you find hidden in that corner of your brain, and research the living fool out of it.  That's great and all, but I am seriously questioning my entire art practice as a result of the one tiny (albeit GIGANTIC) topic I thought I'd focus on - - Gender Studies.  EEEEEEK!!!  I have begun delving, and - like many things I've looked into in my life - I've realized that there is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE than who someone decides to practice gymnastics with.  There's SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE than whether you wear gender-appropriate (appropriate to whom, I might ask....) clothing or drive the right car or wear the right shoes, or whatever.  In fact, I know that there have been serious gender struggles, serious struggles for people whose sexual orientation has been other-than-mainstream, and I know that women have been shoved underground in all sorts of ways.  But I'm here to tell you that somehow, all of that (in spite of the fact that I have certainly managed to do the 'typical' thing along the way - motherhood - staying home.....and have also done atypical things...) is beginning to falter in its importance to me personally.  What's becoming much more important to me is how I am going to take what has been a very solitary art practice, focused on very personal things, and turn it into connective tissue - fibrous reality that serves a good greater than the practice itself (and me...). 

This is the central question I'm focused on.  Social connectivity of art.  It's funny - - because personal issues really are important to me - - but I'm realizing that what's most important, really, in my life, are the people I love.  How can I create artwork that isn't trite, but which serves to explore connection?  That serves to connect?  Don't know at this point - but stand by.  Perhaps I'll figure something out.